Metamorphose, and why I'm not entirely proud of it.

Over the last several months, I was working on a Project Runway-style challenge with nine other local designers that was organized by St. Vincent de Paul of Lane County and Eugene Fashion Week. It started with a shopping day at the Division Avenue store, and ended with a runway show this past Sunday at the Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art. There were three categories--ready to wear, evening wear, and designer's choice. Eighty percent of each of our designs had to be with materials we purchased with our $40 budget. One winner would be chosen in each category.

I was already at a disadvantage, being one of the more inexperienced designers. Then I lost three weeks recovering from surgery.Then I kept hitting snags. I got to a point where I just wanted to get things finished. So, I put out mediocre work. And I'm not proud of it. So much so that I've already dismantled two of the looks to be integrated elsewhere, and will be re-working the third.

Obviously, I didn't win. I didn't expect to. And I am super happy for the ladies who did win. What's bothering me is that, while of course the winners deserve every bit of attention they're getting, very little has been mentioned of the rest of us. I don't know how the others feel about this. Maybe I'm just annoyed because I'm failing one of my classes as a direct result of this challenge, and have pretty much taken a major hit to my confidence. But what little coverage I've seen of the show itself has been disappointing. Perhaps because this is the only picture I've seen of me (other than Eugene Weekly's Instagram):

That thick mane of brown hair in the blue dress is me.

I thought I was relatively pleased with Metamorphose, but subconsciously, my brain hates me. I ate half a cherry pie for lunch on Thursday. I'm going to go ahead and assume that the depression that I've made good strides with is worming its way out of hiding.

Stallings, pity party of one.

My disappointment in myself was enough to make me seriously consider not participating in this year's Summer in the City show. Maybe even Eugene Fashion Week in the fall. Don't worry, that was short-lived. I'm already in the planning stages for SITC. 

Actually, you know, typing this out has made me feel slightly better. Thank you, Blogger, for being a virtual ear to annoy. But I'm still not proud of the work I put out last weekend. I promise to do better next time.